“Virtually every Christian passes through these two stages in his pursuit of humility. In the first he fears and flees and seeks deliverance from all that can humble him. He has not yet learned to seek humility at any cost. He accepts the command to be humble and seeks to obey it, though only to find how utterly he fails. He prays for humility, at times very earnestly. But in the secret heart he prays more – if not in word, then in wish – to be kept from the very things that will make him humble. He is not yet so in love with humility as the beauty of the Lamb of God, and the joy of heaven, that he would sell all to procure it. In his pursuit of it, and prayer for it, there is still somewhat a sense of a burden and a bondage. To humble himself has not yet become the spontaneous expression of a life and a nature that is essentially humble. It has not yet become his joy and only pleasure. He cannot yet say, “most gladly do I glory in weakness; I take pleasure in whatever humbles me.”
But can we hope to reach this stage in which this will be the case? Undoubtedly! What will it be that brings us there? That which brought Paul there – a new revelation of the Lord Jesus Christ. Nothing but the presence of God can reveal and expel self.” Andrew Murray – ‘Humility'
I wonder, upon reading this, if this little talked about imperative is not one of the key reasons we actually don’t ‘PURSUE’ knowing Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father as we should. To know God fully and be transformed completely we must yield our egos unsparingly. In the ‘first world’ culture in which I am immersed, the ‘self’ and its preservation, promotion and prominence at some level are not only prized, but idolised. This is easier to embrace and more difficult to avoid when marketing and branding are the source of profile and prominence. In this arena anything that hinders or diminishes profile is a liability and shunned readily.
For the ‘Christian’ it may not be the gaudy side of these egocentric processes that is sought out, yet it is the subtle end of this same monster that we still find ourselves entangled with. In our ‘knowing’ God and finding acceptance in His Family and Kingdom, that we still harbour the need to be ‘significant’. This hunger can be met perfectly in the humble intimacy Andrew Murray spoke of above, but we have traveled into redemption with the baggage of culture and find ourselves still ‘unpacking the bags’ we have brought and dressing ourselves in pursuit, performance and profitable participation.
We don’t purpose that these things will hinder ‘knowing’ God, in fact we believe that these will ‘bless’ and ‘please’ God and He in turn will baluster our efforts with approval, as manifest in blessing and success. However, in all of this we have on the ‘rags’ of prominence, profile and self preservation. We want to salvage the best of self, rather than letting God sift the self completely.
When we truly seek all of Jesus and His Lordship, not mere consultation, in our lives then His presence will come and self, as Andrew Murray intimated, will vanish.
Will this prospect excite you, or insight enough fear to remain only on the superficial level of really knowing God?
Shane Varcoe